


I'm Only Human

by Zorro_sci



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: EVIL General Ross, Hurt/Comfort, Infidelity, M/M, Multi, Nightmares, drunk!Tony Stark, guilty!Tony Stark, hurt!Bruce Banner, promiscuous!Tony Stark, warning for torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-24
Updated: 2014-07-27
Packaged: 2018-02-10 05:20:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 7,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2012481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zorro_sci/pseuds/Zorro_sci
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony thought that Bruce left him, and he fell apart.  He went off the rails, returning to some nasty habits.  Now when the truth comes out, he must deal with the consequences of his actions.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Guilt

The first thing Tony Stark noticed when he woke up was that he had someone next to him.

 _Not again,_ he thought. 

Well, he'd just have to order in breakfast and leave JARVIS with instructions for leading his latest conquest out. He also needed to get out of there as soon as possible. Preferably without waking whoever it was who was sleeping next to him.

After carefully crawling out of bed he looked back over his shoulder and realized the person in his bed was Bruce. **_His_** Bruce. Bruce who he thought he had lost forever, but was now back safe and sound in his bed, albeit thinner and more haunted.

Tony's eyes wandered over Bruce's face, his cheeks hollow, and pain and fear clearly painted on every feature even as he slept. He reached out a hand and gently stroked one of the other man's cheeks overwhelmed by feelings of love and worry. The scientist looked so fragile, and it broke his heart that he didn't even seem to be finding any relief in sleep.

On the heels of those emotions came the guilt. Settling in his stomach like a lead weight as he climbed back into bed and gently wrapped Bruce in his arms. He couldn't help it when looking at Bruce reminded him of all that the physicist had endured in the last few months, and his waking thoughts reminded him of what he had been doing as the love of his life was tortured repeatedly and starved within an inch of his life.

Still, Bruce needed him now. He needed him by his side to help him fight back the new demons, and he intended to be there. And any sins that Tony had committed when they were apart? They were Tony's problem. His burden to bear. There was no point in dumping them on Bruce. Especially after he had already been through so much.


	2. I'll take care of you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **warning: mentions of torture**

_The pain surrounded him. White hot and searing. He tried to get away from it but he was unable to move, his arms and legs firmly restrained even as he fought harder against whatever was holding him down. He tried to scream, but his voice was strangled in his chest, unable to find its way out of his fear-constricted lungs._

_He reached out for the ever-present anger of the Hulk, but couldn't reach him. All that filled his mind was pain, pain, PAIN! and the realization that he couldn't hold on much longer. He would surely die if the pain didn't stop._

_His heart pounded loudly and more quickly by the second, the sound reverberating in his ears. And just when he thought it was all over_ . . . .his eyes flew open and he realized it had all been a dream.

Well, maybe not all. He was being held down by a pair of arms that he found himself struggling against, still overcome by the panic of the nightmare. He managed to free one of his arms and swung wildly at the figure pinning him even as that figure spoke.

"Bruce, it's me! It's Tony! You're in the Tower. You're safe. I promise. No one is going to hurt you. Calm down," the voice whispered urgently as Bruce continued to swing at the source of the voice as he processed the words being spoken.

Their meaning finally sunk in, but unfortunately that moment was also the moment his fist connected, eliciting a soft yelp from the shadow next to him. Realizing what had just happened he pulled his arms back quickly and apologized.

"No need to apologize. I'm fine," Tony returned.

"But I hit you," Bruce said mournfully.

"It was an accident. Like I said I'm fine," Tony countered.

Bruce reached over and turned on a lamp, and then studied Tony with a frown.

"It's already starting to bruise and swell. You're going to have a black eye," Bruce informed.

"So I'll put some ice on it," Tony dismissed. "Small price to pay to have you safe and back in my arms. I'm going to take care of you, so get used to it. I don't care if that means sometimes I get punched in the face. I just want to be here for you."

He slowly reached out to envelop Bruce in his arms, moving deliberately to clearly telegraph his intent to the other man and give him time to react. Bruce stiffened slightly, but let himself be held, and after a few moments he melted into the touch.

"I'm going to be screwed up for a while. Are you sure you want to put up with that? I wouldn't hold it against you if you didn't," Bruce mumbled into his shoulder. "I'm not the most stable under normal circumstances, and now . . . "

The words trailed off into a bitter chuckle, and Tony felt his heart twist at the sound.

"Stop being stupid Bruce. I love you. Of course I want to be with you. You can be screwed up for as long as you need to be," Tony soothed. 

Bruce gently pulled free and went to stand.

"I'll go get you some ice," he said as he left the room.

Tony would have objected, but Bruce was already halfway out of the door.


	3. 103

Bruce rummaged through the common area kitchen fridge, throwing some ice in a quart-sized plastic baggy. As he filled the bag he wondered how it was possible that the penthouse kitchen was out of ice. He dismissed the thought and turned to leave the kitchen, and almost bumped into Steve.

"Sorry!" They said simultaneously.

"So you and Tony have been working through things," he said gesturing at the AC/DC shirt that Bruce was wearing.

His voice sounded surprised and almost judgmental, but surely Bruce was imagining things. He would have no reason to sound like that.

"Yeah, Tony's been really understanding and patient as I work through all of it," Bruce responded fondly. He was incredibly grateful. Tony had hardly left his side since they returned, and had made sure Bruce felt comfortable and safe any way he could.

"Well, that's the least he could do," Steve scoffed.

Bruce was now even more confused, but he decided to let it go and get back to Tony. He headed back toward the kitchen door, but quickly stepped out of the way as Thor barged into the kitchen.

"Good morrow my friends!" He boomed.

"Morning Thor," Bruce said politely as he headed for the door.

"Friend Banner, was one of our teammates injured?" Thor questioned, gesturing towards the ice.

Bruce flushed and responded, "Well, I might have given Tony a black eye . . . . I just . . ."

"Don't worry Bruce, we understand. He deserved it. I just can't believe that you two are still trying to work it out after that," Steve commented.

"It was an accident," Bruce countered blushing, and slightly confused.

"While I think it is honorable that you and friend Stark are attempting to mend your relationship, I hardly think that his behavior can be called accidental, or that anyone would fault you for striking him," Thor mused.

"What?" Bruce asked, too confused to form a more precise question.

"Thor is just saying that no one would be surprised if you were angry. Just because you weren't here doesn't mean that Tony had the right to have sex with whomever he pleased," Steve clarified.

"What?!?" Bruce cried. "Tony slept with someone else?!?"

"Friend Stark had many sexual partners in your absence. Did he not tell you?" Thor asked in concerned, brows furrowed.

"Many?" Bruce choked.

"One hundred three," Steve supplied.

Bruce felt dizzy. He ran from the room with the half-melted bag of ice and hurried toward the elevator.


	4. Too much

"Hey!" Tony called as the penthouse elevator doors opened. "What took so long? I was getting ready to send out a search party."

His smile quickly faded as he saw Bruce's face.

"What's wrong?" he asked in concern.

Bruce threw the soggy bag at Tony and sunk into a chair. Tony caught the bag and looked over at Bruce even more worried than before.

He was about to ask again when Bruce spoke, his eyes gazing intently at the floor, "Tony, did you sleep with someone else?"

"Bruce, I. . . I," Tony stammered, unsure what to say.

"I know you did, so there's no point in denying it," Bruce said flatly, though he felt like he'd been punched in the gut. "I mean, Steve apparently even kept count of how many people you had parade in and out of your bedroom."

"He would," Tony muttered bitterly.

"I hardly think you're in any position to judge when you cheated on me with one hundred three people," Bruce countered his eyes flashing green briefly.

Tony snapped his mouth shut. He had no idea what to say or do. He just wanted to get away from the hurt look on Bruce's face.

"Why?" Bruce whispered brokenly, his anger past. "That's all I want to know Tony. Why? And why didn't you tell me?"

"Why didn't I tell you?!?" Tony asked incredulously. His brain was telling his mouth to shut up, since he was sure he was going to say something sarcastic and inappropriate, but his mouth just wouldn't listen. "I don't know, when we found you naked, beaten, and half-starved in a government lab it just didn't seem right to say, 'Bruce, I'm so glad you're alive! Oh, by the way, I reclaimed my playboy title while you were gone and fucked anything that moved for close to a month.' There seemed to be more important things, like, I don't know, getting you out of there and safe."

Bruce looked far from amused, and Tony knew he had only made things worse, but he just seemed to have no control over his stupid mouth.

"Were you ever going to tell me?" Bruce asked with an edge to his voice again.

"I don't know," Tony whispered honestly.

"You don't know?!? What, were you deliberating whether or not I deserved the truth?"

"No . . I . . .Bruce I'm sorry. That's all I can say. I'm so sorry. More sorry than you could ever know."

"Is that supposed to make everything better?"

"No . . .look we can discuss this later. You're shaking."

"Why?!? Afraid of releasing the Other Guy?"

"No, Bruce, I'm worried about you. I don't want you to hurt yourself. Tell me honestly, could you even stand up without falling right now? Come on, let me help you to bed. We'll talk about this later."

"Right," Bruce said bitterly. "Pretend it's all about my well-being and avoid the issue entirely."

"Bruce. . . " Tony pleaded, noticing that the other man looked to be on the verge of collapsing.

"If you care so much about my well-being, why didn't you think about hurting me before you started sleeping with anyone who would spread their legs for you?" Bruce continued viciously, shaking violently with a sheen of sweat forming above his brow. "Although I guess I should have known. The others tried to warn me. They told me to be careful, because eventually you'd find someone new. I told them they were wrong. I told them that you would never cheat on me. I guess I was wrong."

"Bruce . . ." Tony repeated brokenly, tears sitting in his eyes. 

He had no good response. Bruce of course had every reason to be hurt and angry. He had betrayed his trust. He hadn't known that was what he was doing at the time, but that was irrelevant, and the truth would seem like an excuse if he tried to explain now.

"I'm going back to my floor. I can't stay here," Bruce said as he abruptly stood up.

The quick motion was the straw that broke the camel's back, and Bruce passed out cold in a heap on the floor.


	5. Accusations

Tony checked to make sure Bruce was okay, and then carried him down to the bedroom in his old apartment. Then he toyed with whether or not he should hang around. Clearly Bruce wanted to get away from him, but then again it was just as clear that Bruce needed him right now.

He finally decided he was going to stay. At least long enough to make sure Bruce wasn't alone when he woke up and to try to encourage him to eat breakfast. If Bruce didn't want him there he could leave after that.

To that end, he went into the kitchen to make some oatmeal only to find all of the cupboards were bare. He supposed it only made sense. Bruce hadn't lived on his own floor for nearly a year. It's not like there would be any need to keep the cupboards stocked. He asked JARVIS to put in an order to get some groceries for Bruce, then he went down to the common kitchen to grab a container of oatmeal.

When he reached the kitchen he found Thor and Steve eating breakfast at the kitchen table, and his anger burned. He knew a lot of it was misplaced from his anger at himself, but seeing Steve eating his omelet quietly after what had just happened upstairs made him want to punch the super soldier. Who did he think he was revealing things that were Tony's secrets to tell? Why was he burdening Bruce with that when he was already so vulnerable?

"So, I heard you and Bruce had a little chat this morning," Tony said snidely. 

"What about it?" Steve said defensively.

"Why exactly did you think it was your business to get involved in my relationship with Bruce?" He shot back accusatorially.

"I just told him the truth. He deserves to know. Besides, I thought he already knew," Steve defended.

"We both did, friend," Thor added. "We did not aim to upset either of you."

"Well, you failed miserably. Bruce came upstairs so worked up he could hardly stand, and then he passed out cold," Tony responded venomously.

"Is he okay?" Steve asked quickly, concern heavy in his voice.

"He'll be okay, but now can you see why I was waiting until he was stronger to tell him?" Tony asked bitterly.

"I still think it was dishonest. He probably was as upset that you were hiding it from him as he was that you did it. If you'd just told him sooner it might not have been so bad," Steve countered.

"And when did you become an expert in all-things-Bruce? And when exactly would have been this time I should have told him? When we found him?!? The first two days after he got home when he was too weak to stand up or feed himself?!? After one of the half-dozen nightmares he's had daily since he's been back?!? Did it ever occur to you that I might have been protecting him?!?" Tony attacked, moving closer to where Steve was sitting aggressively.

"See, all I hear now are a bunch of excuses. If you weren't so busy trying to cover your tracks you would have found time," Steve returned the challenge, getting to his feet and looking down on the shorter man.

"Because you understand relationships so well. You . . . " Tony started only to be cutoff by his AI.

"Sir, Dr. Banner is in distress. He appears to be having another nightmare," JARVIS informed evenly.

Without another word Tony turned on his heel and ran for the stairs. The elevator couldn't get him back to Bruce's floor fast enough. He was sure his adrenalin-filled sprinting would be much faster.


	6. I love you, but I don't trust you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **warning: mentions of torture**

_Electricity crackled through his body making it jump involuntarily and fight against the restraints that he had long ago resigned himself would always be there. He tried to keep stoic, but screams were pulled from him one after another against his will. He could hear them echoing around the room, but hardly recognized them as his own._

**_Please stop! I can't take much more,_ ** _he begged internally._

_Then he heard the General chuckle cruelly and he realized that he had spoken the words out loud._

_"Why exactly should I do that monster? Did you listen to any of my men when they asked you to stop?" He sneered._

_Tears sprung to his eyes, even as he tried to fight them back. He tried to think of anything but his current situation. Anything to keep him from begging Ross to stop again. He didn't want to give him anymore satisfaction._

_His thoughts drifted to Tony. Was Tony looking for him? Surely he was. Tony would find him, but would he get there in time? He was getting weaker each day. Hulk or no Hulk he wasn't sure how much he could take._

**_Hurry Tony,_** _he begged silently, or maybe not so silently, because once again Ross was chuckling, and through his tears he could see him grinning like a Cheshire Cat._

_"No one's coming for you, monster. They've all long forgotten about you," he gloated._

_What if he was right? What if they had forgotten about him? What if Tony had already moved on . . ._

Bruce returned to consciousness with a strangled cry. He bolted upright, his chest heaving and his body covered in a cold sweat. Then he broke down into sobs, the emotion too much to hold in.

In a flash Tony was by his side, enveloping him in his arms. He rubbed his hands up and down his back and shushed him while he repeatedly assured him that it was okay. He was safe. That he wouldn't be left alone. For a moment Bruce sunk into the touch, comforted by the solid presence by his side. Then he remembered the events of the morning, and pulled back stiffly.

"You forgot about me," Bruce said in what he tried to make a steady voice, but instead came out a strained sob.

"What? Never! I could never forget about you Bruce," Tony reassured, trying to pull the other man back into a hug.

"Ross, he kept saying that no one was coming for me. That everyone I cared about had forgotten about me," Bruce said, searching Tony's face, and carefully keeping an arm's length away.

"Ross is an idiot. Of course we came," Tony countered softly.

"After awhile, I started to wonder if he was right. I wasn't exactly sure how much time had passed, but it seemed like a lot. It seemed like if someone were going to rescue me they would have come already. I held out hope that you would still come for me, but part of me thought that maybe you had moved on, and that this time he really would kill me," Bruce admitted.

Tony felt a stab of guilt in his chest. This was his fault. He had been an idiot.

"I'm sorry it took so long," Tony apologized. He hated thinking about Bruce being so hopeless. He hated Ross for sowing those thoughts in Bruce's head, and hated himself for allowing those thoughts to be given any consideration with his delayed response.

Bruce looked down and continued, "When I saw you break down the door and walk into the lab my first thoughts were, 'He does love me! Ross was wrong! He didn't forget me!' I know that might be silly, or even kind of pathetic, but what he had been saying had really gotten under my skin. I was beginning to wonder if I actually mattered to anyone, or if I really was as expendable as he said."

"Bruce . . .that's not silly or pathetic. I'm sorry you ever had reason to doubt it. I love you. You matter to me. I wouldn't be whole without you," Tony said heartbrokenly. 

"Really, Tony? Because it seems like you had no problem moving on while I was gone. Is that what took you so long to find me? Were you too distracted by all the people parading in and out of your bed? Was saving me just an afterthought? Was it even your idea, or was it a team mission created by SHIELD?" Bruce asked, and though his voice wasn't cruel or accusatory his words still wounded Tony deeply.

Bruce seemed to consider the look on Tony's face a moment. He sat studying the other man cautiously, and then sighed before he spoke again.

"Tony, I love you, and I don't want to hurt you, but I don't know what to do," he said sadly. "I just don't know if I can trust you."

"Bruce, I . . . I," Tony stammered. He had no idea what to say. Anything he could think of seemed not to be enough in light of Bruce's revelation.

There was nothing he could say, so he left the bedroom and walked into the kitchen. Then he silently prepared the oatmeal. 

When it was ready, he put in a dish and added raisins and milk. Pairing the bowl with a spoon, he brought it back into the the bedroom where Bruce was still sitting stiffly on the bed.

"I made you some oatmeal. You haven't eaten yet, so you should probably try to eat it," he said softly as he set the food on the nightstand. 

He looked down and sighed before he continued, "I get that you need your space, and I'm going to give it to you. 

Let JARVIS know if you need anything from me, and please let one of the others come up here and help take care of you. You haven't fully recovered yet, and I would feel better if you weren't alone."

Bruce nodded grimly, and Tony turned to leave. He rushed out of Bruce's apartment without seeming to hurry and clambered into the elevator. Once the doors shut, and he was sure he was alone, he finally let down his mask of calm and slipped down one of the walls to floor, sobbing bitterly.


	7. The meaning of oatmeal

Bruce watched Tony leave with a mix of emotions. A small part of him was relieved, because he thought maybe some space would help him sort out his mixed-up feelings. Right now he couldn't look at Tony without feeling hurt and betrayed, and he knew that was getting them both nowhere. 

Another part of him felt guilty as he watched Tony calmly set down the breakfast food and quickly, but not too quickly, leave. Everything action was so measured and practiced that Bruce knew Tony was hiding just how hurt and upset he really was. 

Then there was the large part of him that was disappointed Tony hadn't pressed harder, and had just left. He knew he had no right to be upset. He had said he needed space earlier, and all but asked him to leave again. It shouldn't be a surprise that Tony had left, but he guessed on some level he was hoping that Tony would make good on his promise from earlier that morning; the one he had made before his world had been turned upsidedown. (Even now he could hear, 'I'm going to take care of you, so get used to it. I don't care if that means sometimes I get punched in the face. I just want to be here for you.' echoing in his ears. Apparently Tony's promise only applied to physical confrontations and not emotional ones.)

Bruce sighed. He knew he was being unreasonable, but he couldn't help it. He had been such a mess of emotions since he had returned to the Tower, and this had only made things worse. 

Then he looked over at the bowl of oatmeal getting cold on the nightstand, and he was flooded with a new set of emotions. The most overwhelming of which was fondness. He thought back on all the failed attempts that Tony had made at creating the simple breakfast food after he learned that Bruce found the bland food comforting after a hulk-out. It was quite amusing how Tony could be one of the smartest men on the planet, but he found making oatmeal to be difficult. Still, he had approached the task with dogged determination, and eventually he had succeeded. 

Once Tony had mastered the skill, he began making Bruce a warm bowl of oatmeal each time he transformed. Then he would mother-hen him into eating it all before he allowed him collapse into bed to sleep. He had learned that Bruce didn't recover as quickly after a hulk-out, and was more prone to losing weight, if he didn't eat in short order afterwards; so he refused to let him go to bed on an empty stomach. Sometimes it was slightly exasperating, but he knew Tony was only looking out for him.

As he reflected back on those times, he realized that Tony was trying just as hard to take care of him now. He knew he had hurt him, his words had cut deep, but Tony hadn't just left. First he had made breakfast to try to make sure Bruce didn't skip eating, and then he had urged him to seek help from one of the others. Maybe he wasn't there with him right now, but he was doing his best to both respect Bruce's wishes and watch over him; even if he had to do it through a proxy.

Honestly, that just confused him more. Confronted with the billionaire's clear affection for him, he almost wanted to call him back and tell him he forgave him and ask if they could start fresh. But even as he wanted to forgive him and move on, he doubted if he could trust the other man ever again. At least not without an explanation for his behavior, which Tony had yet to give. And he had no illusions that a relationship without trust would last. He knew it would collapse in on itself, lacking the proper foundation.

Too full of thoughts and emotions, he decided to take a walk to clear his head. He originally had intended only to walk around the Tower, but before he knew it he was wandering the streets of New York aimlessly.


	8. "You don't deserve him!"

Up in the penthouse Tony was making his way to the bar as quickly as possible. He grabbed a bottle of scotch and quickly poured a double portion into a glass. Then he hesitated.

He knew Bruce hated the smell of hard liquor on his breath. It always set him on edge, triggering memories of his father. If Bruce decided he needed him, and he stunk of whiskey, he would be even more of a failure. He would cause Bruce even more pain.

Then again, Bruce wasn't very likely to call him. He wanted him to leave him alone. He had said he couldn't trust him. That he had wondered if Tony was too distracted to be there for him when he needed him. And what was worse was it wasn't entirely untrue. Realizing that he very well could have broken things beyond repair, he downed the scotch and poured another.

"Sir, Captain Rogers is requesting entry," JARVIS intoned.

"What does he want?" Tony groused.

"He didn't say," the AI replied.

Well, if nothing else he could ask the other man to look after Bruce, so he said, "Let him in, J."

"Yes sir. I feel I should also tell you . . . . "

"Later, J. Mute until he leaves," he cut him off. He was going to need all his energy to focus on keeping his cool with Steve. He couldn't go off on him again, especially not if he wanted to ask him for a favor.

"Oh," Steve said as he walked in and took in the scene in front of him. He slowed his purposeful pace and seemed to contemplate whether or not he should be there.

"'Oh' what?" Tony said in annoyance.

"'Oh' maybe I should come back later," Steve said levelly.

"You're already here. You might as well say what you have to say," Tony said snappishly. Okay, he was really not keeping his cool like he had planned to.

Steve hesitated and looked back at the elevator.

When he started to move back towards the doors wordlessly, Tony completely snapped.

 

"You clearly have something to say. Just say it!" Tony shouted.

"You don't deserve him!" Steve roared back, turning to face Tony.

"What?" Tony asked in shock. He had expected a lecture. He had expected to hear what he should have done, and even how he had failed, but he had never expected such a direct, bald accusation. The words hit him like a punch in the gut.

"I came up here to apologize, actually," Steve started tensely. "I was going to tell you that you were right; your relationship is none of my business. But then I walked in on you hiding in a bottle when Bruce _needs_ you. If ever there was a time to put him first, it's now. But instead, here you are doing something you _know_ will set him off. Meaning, you're in no shape to take care of him, when there can be no doubt that he _needs_ you right now. Even though you seem to have conveniently forgotten. So, no, you don't deserve him."

Tony sighed and replied, "He doesn't want me anywhere near him. He passed out trying to get away from me, and when he woke up he told me he didn't think he could trust me anymore. I figured I needed to give him his space. It seems to be what he wants, and I think I owe him that."

Tony hadn't meant to sound so broken. Hadn't meant to be so exposed with Captain America, of all people. Still, he was there, and Tony wasn't sure he could keep it in any longer.

"Did you ever think that maybe what he wants is for you to fight for him?" Steve asked gently, suddenly feeling compassion for the broken man in front of him. Tony started to glare and he held up his hands in a placating gesture, "I know, I know. When did I become an expert in all-things-Banner, but think about it. You've seen his file just like I have. He's had it beaten into him since he was a little kid that he's worthless and no one loves him. He probably just sees what happened as more evidence that he's unlovable. He's hurt, so he's pushing you away, but he just might need you to push back."

Tony thought about it. What he said made a lot of sense, but it didn't seem like it was going to be easy. And if he was wrong there could be severe consequences.

"One more thing," Steve said, pulling Tony back out of his thoughts. "Tell Bruce the whole truth of what happened. I may not be an expert on Bruce, but I know he has no tolerance for being lied to. I know it may not be easy, but I think it would go a long way."

Tony nodded weakly. Steve was right. Bruce hated when people lied to him or hid the truth. Most of his accidental Hulk-outs, or near Hulk-outs, that weren't cause by physically injury were caused by people trying to manipulate him through lies. He supposed it only made sense when he considered his history.

He looked up to ask Steve to go check on Bruce while he got himself put together, but when he looked up the Super Soldier was gone.

"Sir," JARVIS broke in.

"What J?" He said half-distracted.

"Dr. Banner left the Tower," the AI informed.

"What?!?" Tony cried. "When?!? Where is he going?"

"He left about fifteen minutes ago. He would not answer any of my inquiries about where he was going, and he seemed to be in a daze," the mechanical British voice replied.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" Tony asked, on the edge of panicking.

"You commanded me to stay mute until Captain Rogers left," the AI responded with a slight accusation in his voice.

"Get the suit ready, J. I have to find him," Tony answered, trying to push his anger at his stupidity out of his mind.


	9. Walking

Bruce shivered; although the sun was up it seemed to do little to counter the harsh autumn wind. Plus, he was slowly starting to realize that he had left the tower dressed in nothing but a worn pair of sweatpants and Tony's old worn t-shirt, neither of which were doing much to help cut the wind. And he wasn't even wearing shoes, so his bare feet were plodding along the chilled cement of the sidewalk.

People seemed to be avoiding him as he wandered, which didn't surprise him. He probably looked like some crazy, homeless person who had lost all touch with reality, but he didn't pay them much mind.

He figured he should probably head back, but he felt compelled to keep wandering. Even as he became more and more aware that he was probably too tired and weak to keep walking, he continued his journey. He kept walking, even as the cold wind against him became almost painful, and his feet cried in protest, likely after stepping on broken glass or some other equally sharp haphazardly-thrown litter. He had faced situations like this before, and he had always just kept going and somehow found a way to survive.

He kept walking until he was stumbling, and barely keeping his feet beneath him. Until he could no longer stand, and he half-collapsed against the wall of a building in an out-of-the-way alley. Then, completely exhausted, he fell asleep resting his head against the bricks. 

He was asleep so instantly that he didn't hear the approach of the Iron Man suit, or the _clang!_ It made as it landed nearby.

Tony lifted the face plate on the suit and took in the sight in front of him with a frown. Bruce was supporting himself against the building, balled up for warmth, but still shivering, and his feet were cut and bloody. It took him all of a half second to stoop down and pick up the unconscious figure in his arms. Then with Bruce securely held to his chest, he headed back to the Tower.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter ended up being very short. But don't worry. More to come soon.


	10. The Truth

Bruce regained awareness slowly. The first thing he noticed was that he was no longer cold, and he seemed to be covered and in a bed, instead of leaning against a wall in an alley. The second thing he noticed was that his feet had been bandaged. He was still puzzling over this information when he recognized the familiar smell of the blankets around him. There could be no doubt. He was back in the Tower.

He slowly opened his eyes and found that he was back in the bedroom in his old, no current, apartment. The lights were off and the curtains were closed, but he could still make out a figure sitting in a chair next to the bed keeping watch over him. Tony.

Tony finally seemed to notice that Bruce was stirring, and reached over and grabbed his hand. Bruce flinched slightly, but didn't pull away.

"Bruce," he said slowly. "I realize you may not want me here, and you might need some space, but I needed to be sure you were okay. I was really worried when you left. 

Now, I'll leave if you want me to, but before I do there's something I need to tell you. I still haven't explained what happened, and I feel like I owe you that. Okay?"

Bruce nodded mutely. He wasn't sure if he was ready for this, but he really wanted to hear the truth, so he would listen as best as he could.

"Alright," Tony sighed. "I guess I should start at the beginning, even though you know that part. So you were going on your world-saving trip to some war-torn part of Eastern Africa to help people in refuge camps and orphanages and that sort of thing, and I was worried. Yes, I know that you can't get communicable diseases or be killed with guns or bombs, but I still worry when you voluntarily wander into a war zone and hang out in places where clean drinking water is a luxury. 

So I gave you a phone and asked you to call me every night, and you promised that you would try. The first three nights you did, but after that I didn't hear from you. The first night I was a little worried, but I figured maybe you were just too busy. The next day I was more worried, and by the third day I was in a near panic and JARVIS was trying to talk me down from getting into a suit and flying over to Africa to check on you.

I decided to wait one more day before I went after you, but the next morning I got an e-mail from you. Well, I say from you, and I really thought it was from you at the time, but it turns out it was written by General Ross to keep me from looking for you.

Anyway, the e-mail. The e-mail said that you were doing a lot of good where you were and you weren't coming back. It said that you thought that staying there would be for the best, because you didn't really feel like you were making much of a difference here in New York, and the people there needed you. Finally, it said that it would also be good for you to get distance because you realized we would never work. That while you were grateful for all that I had done to help you, in the end I was too stubborn, selfish and immature to ever put you first or be what you needed."

"Tony . . . ." Bruce breathed softly, the words stinging him as he realized what they must have done to Tony. He might never say it outloud, but Bruce knew that those were some of the very things that the billionaire counted as his flaws and worried would drive Bruce away. 

"As you can imagine, I didn't take it very well. Actually, that might be an understatement. I locked myself in the penthouse and went on a drinking binge for almost two months. I refused to communicate with anyone, and I don't think the other Avengers even knew I was in the tower because they never saw me or heard from me.

Then I decided that if I could survive loneliness before by sleeping around, maybe I could again. I mean it certainly had to be better than being miserable alone, and it might actually help me forget you and all the pain of being rejected by you. So I started by picking up a new person each night, or sometimes two or three, on a couple of occasions I picked up an entire calendar shoot's worth of models, but it didn't matter. No matter how attractive or kinky they were, they weren't you. So, I'd sneak out of the guest bedroom as soon as we finished and they were asleep, give JARVIS instructions for getting rid of them in the morning, and re-read the e-mail while I got drunk again. That went on for almost a month, so I guess Captain Do-Gooder was probably right about the one hundred three thing, but then I noticed something. 

I was re-reading the e-mail and I realized there were several occasions where the contraction "you're" should have been used, but instead it said "y-o-u-r." There were also a couple of times when too should have been spelled with two 'o's, but it only had one. Those aren't the type of mistakes you would make, so I ran the IP address of the computer that sent the e-mail, and realized it was located in an Internet cafe in South Korea. 

That was no where near where you were supposed to be, so I did a quick search and realized there was a US military base not far from the cafe. Then after a possibly less-than-legal look through supply requisition forms for the base, which showed they had ordered massive amounts of admantium reinforced steel, not your typical supply order, I knew they must have captured you.

I wanted to go after you right then and there, but JARVIS convinced me that it would be safer for both of us if I actually formed a plan and had the team for backup. So I waited three days, which seemed like forever, while Natasha and SHIELD gather information and we created a plan. Then we busted in and brought you back."

Bruce stared a moment, taking in all of the information. Given what Tony had thought was happening, Bruce understood his reaction. That didn't mean it didn't hurt, but he finally understood.

"Thank you for telling me," Bruce replied.

"You deserve the truth. I should have told you earlier, but I was scared. I thought you would push me away, and I couldn't bear the thought of not being able to be there for you.

You told me what you were thinking when I walked into the lab where Ross was holding you. Well, when I saw you strapped down and hurt, the first thing I thought was, 'I'm an idiot! How did I not realize the message was a fake earlier! He's been suffering because of _my_ mistake. I'm not going to let him out of my sight! I'm going to take care of him now that I have him back; it's the least I can do,'" Tony related somberly.

"It wasn't your fault, Tony," Bruce reassured, reaching over carefully to put a hand on Tony's cheek.

Tony looked at him with haunted eyes, and Bruce realized he wasn't the only one who Ross had hurt. Sure, he had stirred some of Bruce's darkest and deepest fears, (that he was worthless and unlovable), but he had done the same to Tony and that was unacceptable.

"Tony, it wasn't your fault. It was Ross. You were only responding to what you knew," Bruce repeated with more conviction.

"But I cheated on you, and I let him torture you for three months while I did nothing," Tony shot back.

"You didn't let him torture me. You didn't know that he had me. As soon as you knew I had been captured you rescued me as soon as you could. I know you would never let anyone hurt me if you could help it. . . .and the other part. You thought I broke up with you, so you didn't know you were cheating. 

I would be lying if I said I wasn't upset by your decision to go on a two-month bender and sleep around, mainly because I worry about you too, and that won't do any favors for your health. I also would be lying if I said I wasn't still hurt by knowing that you had sex with other people, but I do understand why now. And what's done is done.

Tony, I forgive you. I know now that you didn't hurt me purposefully. 

I'm not saying that things are going to be okay between us right away, or that things are going to be easy, but I don't want to lose you. Not over this. Not ever. Let's leave this in the past and move on together," Bruce said sincerely.

Tony looked at him in surprise. He basked in the words; he was forgiven. Things were still going to be far from smooth, and they would likely be really rough for a while. But Bruce had forgiven him, and they had the chance to move forward together.

"I love you," Tony said adoringly.

"I love you, too."


End file.
